The truth about dating as an indie hacker in 2025: Why 30% won’t even try

• 60% of indie hackers are in relationships, proving you don’t have to fly solo to build a startup.

• Startups can strain love lives, but the right partner can boost focus and motivation.

• Indie hackers prefer hobby groups or meetups over endless swiping for real connections.

Dating as an indie hacker can feel like solving a tough puzzle. How do you juggle building your business, keeping your finances in check, and finding someone who clicks with you?

Let’s break it down and explore the dating world for indie hackers — sharing some data, stories, and tips that actually make sense for this crowd.

The reality of dating as an indie hacker

About 30% of US adults are single, and nearly half of them (15% of all) aren't actively looking for a partner. How does that stack up against the Indie Hackers community?

A recent poll on the Indie Hackers' X page dropped some interesting stats:

• 60% of indie hackers are in a relationship.

• 10% are single and actively seeking.

• 30% are single and not looking.

So indie hackers are slightly more likely to be single than average (30% US adults vs 40% indie hackers). On top of that, single indie hackers are way less likely to be putting themselves out there (50% of US single adults vs 25% of single indie hackers).

Honestly, this caught me off guard — I always thought most indie hackers were single. But thinking about it, it makes sense. Big names like Levelsio, Marc, Tibo, John Rush, and Daniel Vassallo? They’re all in solid long-term relationships. Guess being an indie hacker doesn’t mean flying solo after all!

Flying solo vs. coupled up

As indie hackers, we tend to think our startup needs 100% of our attention to get off the ground. That leaves no time for relationships. Sometimes it feels like, "I haven’t earned the right to date yet." Like you’ve gotta hit certain goals before you can even think about prioritizing a relationship.

But here’s the thing: business and relationships don’t have to compete. They can actually work together. A good relationship can give you emotional support and keep you motivated, which can help you hit your goals even faster.

One indie hacker on Reddit put it like this:

Most successful people need someone (loving partner) to call them on their bullshit, get their act together, stop daydreaming and do something about their idea if it’s so damn great.

And another one pointed out:

I can tell you men who are [not single], or even men who have a family are more "complete".

This means that they spend less time partying, chasing women (or men) wasting money, wasting time, buying things, doing things that don't matter.

You become less a flashlight, and more a laser.

Men are not alone on this. A female Reddit indie hacker user wrote a comment:

I’m a woman and I considered not even going/backing out because the time commitment of a relationship is so stressful. I’m interested in owning a small business someday which requires investing my time and money to develop advanced professional skills instead of “binge-watching” or “playing video games” or taking “trashy little trips”.

I’m afraid said person will get upset or angry if I don’t want to spend every waking hour with them wasting time and constantly chained to my phone, expected to reply to them within 5 minutes. You just can’t focus or run a business like that.

Dating as an indie hacker can be such a pain

Unpredictable schedules and self-imposed deadlines can really mess with relationships. When you’re constantly juggling work and trying to meet insane goals, it’s easy to miss out on important moments — date nights, birthdays, or just hanging out with your partner. Before you know it, they’re feeling left out and wondering if they’re competing with your startup for attention.

The line between work and life gets blurry fast. One minute you’re brainstorming at midnight, the next you’re putting out fires on a Sunday afternoon. It might feel like the hustle is worth it, but that nonstop grind can take a toll on your relationship, making your partner feel like they’re always coming second.

As John Rush puts it, working on a startup can feel like a 24/7 grind — a burden that’s often unbearable for loved ones.

I worked days and nights, some days I worked 20 hours, slept on the office couch, and continued.

We had many orders, and I was putting the software and hardware together, driving it to the clients, and installing it.

I was obsessed, My girlfriend left me because we didn’t see each other at all but I didn't even notice it.

Bootstrapping a business doesn’t just hit your wallet; it can take a toll on your emotional relationship dynamics too.

Dagobert Renouf experienced it firsthand:

My last time bootstrapping a startup was a failure.

I lost my life savings ($100k+), let my marriage decay to the point of divorce, and suffered a burnout that destroyed my health.

It took me months of rest, meditation, and therapy to get back on my feet.

Then there’s the loneliness. Another poll on X showed that almost 50% of Indie Hackers admitted they’re "usually lonely."

Unfortunately, loneliness rewires how you think and talk, making it much harder to relate to other people. For indie hackers, that just adds another layer of difficulty to finding a partner.

Swiping your way to love

Through our poll on X, we've found out that:

• 58% of indie hackers are all about online dating.

• 42% still prefer the good old-fashioned way of meeting people offline.

Even though online dating is king, offline meetups still have a certain charm — especially for those looking for something real and not just another swipe.

Jon Yongfook summed it up perfectly: dating apps can be brutal. It might take an average male 1,000 swipes to land just one decent coffee date. After that grind, he ditched the “circus” for good over a year ago.

Eugen Nikolajev echoes the sentiment recounting:

I gave up on dating apps after about a week of using them. It's the fastest way to destroy your self-esteem as a man.

My girlfriend literally came to my house over 2 years ago and never left. Have you tried Salsa classes yet?

On the flip side, Dagobert Renouf shares his win with dating apps:

For indie hackers, the path to love seems as experimental as their startups. Some swear off the algorithm grind, while others strike gold in a few swipes. But lately, a new trend is gaining steam: meeting people through interest-based communities.

Take Strava, for example. It’s not just for logging runs anymore — it’s a low-key social hub. Users open it more than 35 times a month, way outpacing traditional dating apps. Evening activity spikes suggest it’s more than just workouts — it’s about connecting.

Then there’s Letterboxd, where movie nerds can bond over obscure cinema picks. Most users are 18-35, making it a sweet spot for casual chats that could turn into something more.

Even Facebook is jumping in, promoting hobby-focused groups as casual meeting spots. Whether it’s running routes, movie marathons, or niche group threads, shared interests are becoming the chill new way to find connections—and maybe even love.

Finding love the analog way

People are ditching dating apps big time. With 79% of Gen Z totally burned out and most college students barely using them, it’s no surprise online dating’s getting a bad rap.

Pew Research even says more than half of online daters have a pretty negative experience. So now, the trend is all about meeting people offline — think running clubs, dance classes, sewing groups, or even speed dating and networking events.

But the thing is, most people aren’t into super-obvious setups like singles mixers because no one wants to look desperate. Instead, casual social events where you can just hang out, meet new faces, and maybe vibe with someone are stealing the show. It’s all about striking up a random conversation and seeing where it goes.

Final thoughts

Dating as an indie hacker can feel like a mess, but it’s not all doom and gloom.

Yeah, the grind is real, and the hustle can get lonely, but having the right person in your corner can make a world of difference. They keep you grounded, call you out when you need it, and push you to hit those big goals.

Most indie hackers are over the endless swiping and ghosting. Instead, people are finding better luck in hobby groups, meetups, or just hanging out in interest-based communities where shared interests make connections feel real.

Sure, balancing a startup and a relationship isn’t easy — late nights, blurred lines, and burnout don’t exactly help, but it’s doable. And honestly? For a lot of indie hackers, figuring out that balance ends up making both their work and love lives way better.

Have a story, tip, or trend worth covering? Let us know at tips@indiehackers.com