Highly Unethical, Highly Converting Cold Email. Did I take this too far?

thanks for mentioning me @akhilmk.

Look, if you sent this to 6 agencies and got 2 signups, doesn't matter anyone's opinion, it's working. And whatever is working, you should keep doing.

Only caveat is that the sample size is extremely low. In statistics, we say that the magic number is 390 (with a standard deviation of 10) to determine wether or not something is statistically representative, that you can draw conclusions from.

My personal gut feeling / reasonably representative is 150 of anything. So if I were @LouTromans I'd stick with the copy and send it to 144 more agencies and look at the numbers.

Now, from a pure copywriting POV, I hate it.

First, without reading it, it's too long. So I'd trim prob 70% of it.

Then, I don't like the tone, I don't like the subject line + "I didn't really mean it that way" combo (feels clickbait), I don't like "Sounds hella neat yeah?", I don't like the 4 exclamation marks, anyway, the list goes on.

But that's just my opinion, that isn't data-driven.

The email is compelling and feels like a clever way of telling your story. On the other aspects:

Is there another way to put this across using a subtle tone and be as much as effective?

Could you be perceived as arrogant by those who won't signup which may affect the relationships with agency folks in the long run?

Would love to hear the takes of experts like @louisswiss @BrendanMcAdams @watus.

As someone who receives cold emails every day, I see this copy style as a double-edged sword.

It certainly sets itself apart and has a huge recall, but also it gives the impression you're trying to mask bullshit with cockiness and clickbait-ness. In other words, I would remember about Spread, but don't think I would trust it.

As the first step to any relationship is trust, this isn't be the place I would like to start.

I like that the copy is "in-your-face", but you can still do that without the risk of me going into defensive mode. Right now, you're introducing yourself to the agency as an enemy, not a partner. You may even sign up with the agency, but I believe the idea you're competing with them will linger. In their subconsciousness, they will always be wondering when will you turn your back at them - and they will be eager to do the same as soon as they find someone offering something similar to Spread.

This all seems unnecessary because you seem to understand the agency's pain: low productivity and high demand. It's a potent value proposition. Just focus on that instead.

I usually feel pretty put off by this type of email (e.g., "I know your business better than you do, so I can help you...")

I'd send like two sentences, leading with "Instantly repurpose every video into a podcast, every podcast into a blog, and every blog into a twitter thread." IMO that's your gold.

You certainly have a strong grasp on how to grab your readers attention. I don't see anyone else mentioning this in the comments, but I think it's rather funny how you created a clickbaity title ("Did I take this too far?") for your clickbaity email. This is not a moral critique, frankly I see myself referencing this post down the line when I start writing my own cold emails.

Louis,

I think there's a number of things that I'd look at on this email.

Firstly, the first two paragraphs are overly coy. Every cold emailer when they're sending thinks about adding a shout out that this is a cold email. Don't do it. It gives people a) an opportunity to immediately delete your email and b) sets the wrong tone for your relationship. I'd have been in segment a for this.

Secondly, at a time when a lot of people are worried about their jobs, and particularly in the marketing industry, I would advise against sending something telling them that their jobs are going to be eaten by your product. It seems adversarial and who needs more of that in their lives?

Instead, focus on the positive aspect of your email which is that smart marketers are using Spread to increase the value of their work to their clients. That's an actual pain point: if a marketer can't prove ROI and continually improve that, then why are they getting paid.

Speak to people's needs directly rather than taunt them. You'll see your customers' attitudes towards you improve greatly.

Also, I think that @watus' comment on significance of that sample is very worth while paying attention to. You just don't have enough data to send this to a large audience yet.

Rather, consider refining your audience targeting to a more specific market segment. Position your product well and you won't have to do a huge amount of cold emailing within a tight industry – marketing is definitely one of those.

I've sent a large number of different kinds of cold email. The best ones have been the ones that within a few lines addressed a person's pain point in a constructive way and offered a clear next step. No clever copywriting. No threats.

Take it further if you need to, nobody wants a boring sales pitch.

So, did it go too far? Is this obnoxious? Arrogant? genius?

One thing I've noticed about cold emails that are "too nice" are going straight to the trash. Gotta have at least a little bit of an edge.

I dont think its not ethical, but it can be written in a more genuine way.

The cheesyness == ego. You sound cocky in the email with the word choice. From reading this post and your answers, it sounds like you dont like the email although its working and this email is "not you".

Maybe you can turn the beginning around as I have you on my list as a competitor for spread. Wanted to introduce myself and see if instead of competing, maybe my product could help your business out and vice versa.

Whitelabel partnerships under the hood are always great. Especially when you find founders / companies that are doing things as a side project and just want to make $$ with as little effort as possible.

GL on this one!

I think it pushes the limit a little from the perspective that it kind of comes across as though you think you know their business better than them. The subject line and intro are perfect. They get the readers attention, but if you don't believe that it will replace them then why would you commit to such a statement? Starting out with a false promise is not generally the best idea to win people over.

Keep the subject and intro as is. I think you need to trim down the detail and treat anything after the subject line and introductory statement as an opportunity to showcase how Spread can benefit their organization, keeping in mind what I feel your true promise to be, to help them increase their growth potential alongside Spread.

I think your product definitely has a lot of potential! I hope you do well with it!

Yeah definitely way too long. And the value add of Spread should be clearer (imo).

Not saying it’s bad, but I sift through emails similar to this all day, and this one would be quickly deleted.

this is great!

Do you truly believe the agencies are better off with you product?

• Yes: Continue, you're doing them a favor
• No: Make a better product

Just a quick sidebar while we're talking about conversion rates. The quality of your list is way more important than email copy when it comes to getting these up. You could send an excellent email to a low quality list and get terrible results. Again the sample size here is small but I'm assuming this is a pretty targeted list

As someone who writes cold emails, I really like this one and wouldn't be mad if I received it. It really draws your attention, but after a few paragraphs you realise that it's "not that bad as you were saying" but know you have a curiosity to actually check out Spread.

I think you should roll with this, but don't be discouraged if you get a few angry emails back.

Thanks for the inspiration - cold email is not something I've done or am a fan of receiving! But I like this "YES. This is a ‘cold’ email, but I thought we could get a little snug?" - just tell them it's cold in the first place !

i will suggest to be more clear on how the product worked i instantly exited when i don't understand having long page is not a problem try to clear what it does how it does why choose you i am sure your conversion will increase

My view is if you have to ask maybe this is too far. For the long term do things you want to put your name to. OTOH the other risk is being “too shy” and putting out inane content. So in summary I have no answer for you, you need to decide if this suits you.

If ultimately you are delivering value and be not scamming or misleading or hurting anyone I think it is ok. If you offer a money back guarantee that is easy to claim that would compensate a bit for being too strong on the initial selling.